SUPERMAN WINGED!!!

On August 10th I learned by voice mail that my father, picture above with my niece Lola, had had a stoke. I also learned that day that he had actually had the stroke on Monday Aug 7th. For some reason, I always have seen my dad as larger than life and pretty damned near invincible. He is the kind of man that could do literally anything. He sport fished, raced bicycles, raced motorcycles, camped out, fixed cars, built his own house, built his own shop, (which I think has more sq Ft than my home) he remodeled his kitchen (last week) is remodeling his bathroom (probably as I write this) and so on.

My daddy would call me at work and tell me that he was going to pick up my car at work and would try to have it back by lunch time. He would change the oil and on occasion if he felt he needed to, buy new tires for the car I drove his grandkids around in. I can't remember a time when my dad would sit down for more than a meal or a good boxing match. I see my father, now after the stroke, and it pains me. He is trying too hard to be 'normal', I guess. He still can't open his hand all the way and when he stands he leans a tad to the right, It looks like he'll fall over, unbalanced. His wife and my sisters seem to think that its not a big thing. I am quite scared. I worry about him. He's alone most of the time, and it's not like he's the type to be inside or watching a movie or God forbid, taking a siesta like a good Mexican. You'll most likely find him under a car or checking something on the roof. I know I can't expect him to alter his life just to make me feel better, but I want him to slow down. He'll be 74 in 3 months.

I have to hand it to him though, he is in great spirits. Still the same old Grumpy Gil. (He's not grumpy, just JC couldn't say grampa when he was little and it stuck.) I pray for him and hope that anyone who reads this will too. My daddy is one of a kind and as special as they come. I get my 'stick to my guns' attitude from him and some say my stubbornness too. Thanks Dad I believe both have helped me all my life. So I really do feel quite grateful that he's walking and using his arms and not worse. Superman winged, but not grounded!


My oldest son JC and I are planning a road trip. The grand canyon, Carmel, Carlsbad caverns, and maybe a few other stops. He's 15 and hopes that we can go in a year, so that he can drive while I sleep. YEAH RIGHT! How am I going to be able to sleep if he's driving? For now I'm still trying to get my husband to take some time off of work so that we can go on vacation as a family. The kids want to take him to Yosemite or Sequoia, because he's never been. I don't care where we go as long as Huicho (hubby) goes too. He's never been anywhere but Vegas. He hasn't even traveled his home country. He is a workaholic. I only got him to take three days off to get married in Vegas because I threatened not to marry him and put my own last name on our child. It's a Mexican thing I guess. What's in a name. Even then we had to leave after work on Friday and had to be back Monday night early enough so that he could be rested to get back to work Tuesday morn.

Well, I'm off to Vegas on Monday! It's mandatory, work, you know, duty calls... Actually it is business. The IRS put on it's Annual IRS forums so that tax preparers can come together in one place and hear first hand from the IRS what's new, what's changed, and how we can better serve our clients. So I get a week in Vegas, three days of seminars, and I get to write it all of on my taxes. It's like a Vegas mini Vacation courtesy of Uncle Sam. I'm excited. I need a vacation. In June my mom had surgery, in July my aunt had surgery and this month, my dad had a stoke. I need some time to unwind. We're refinancing and looking for investment properties, so I need to clear my head, relax, unwind and get ready for reality again. I am soo soo looking forward to getting away. My hubby threatens to go every year, but has never made it once in ten years. I really wish he would go. I think we should get away together just the two of us.

I drove my best friend to Pomona on Friday. She was being sworn in as a US citizen. I could hardly believe it. I had no idea she was not already a US citizen. The ceremony was scheduled for noon. She was told to be there by 11:30. We arrived at 11:30 and waited until noon in the blazing sun. Next we were herded (there were 2,543 people being sworn in that day plus their guests) through the fairgrounds to an auditorium where they split the guests apart from the applicants. Then we waited again in the blazing sun for another 15 min. Finally the auditorium was opened and we were let in. We waited until 1:15 before the applicants were let in and ushered to their seats. After a few people spoke on the responsibilities as a US citizen, the swearing in took about 5 minutes the a word from our Commander in Chief. All was pretty dry, the they played a video by someone who I didn't quite catch there name, just that they were a Vietnam Vet and country singer. The video showed soldiers in uniform being sworn in and waving their flags, little kids on the shoulders of parents being sworn in and it was just all too much for me. I wept. I try to be a good citizen, but realized that there is so much to really be thankful for as a citizen. As the song said 'proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free". Wow. Something to think about while thousands risk there lives very day for my freedom and yours. Also while thousand risk there lives for better lives trying to cross our borders. People are literally dying to get into this country that we citizens some times take for granted.

Well, hubby just called wanted to know if I was coming home tonight or should he bring a pillow and blanket. Later...

Finding old friends in new places

I was looking for accredited educational sites to renew my notary commission last week and stumbled upon the blog of an old friend. We met in the second grade and were best of friends until senior year in high school, when we didn't have many classes or interests in common. We remained friends and social until we were both married and both had our first child. After that she decided that her marriage was too fragile to sustain friendship with anyone other than her husband. I'm not really sure the real reasons, but we lost contact for a number of years. I was reading her blogs and having known her for so many of her earlier years, at least 25, it seemed so plastic. I then got to thinking about my own life and how much has changed and come together since my first child was born. I wish her the very best and truly hope that she is living the life she writes about.

Anyway, back to my perfect life. I am self employed and find it very difficult to manage home, business and family. My husband is a naturalized US citizen. His country of birth is Mexico. He grew up poor. Not the poor that comes to mind to anyone who has never been outside of the US, but third world poor. The kind of poor that leaves children crying in the dark as they lay helpless against the bugs that ravage their once soft, silky, innocent skin on their straw mats (if they are fortunate enough to have one) just to one side of the brick walls of their dirt floor home, kind of poor. My husband, before he met me, had never had a Birthday cake, much less a birthday party. Up until his fortieth birthday, we had always celebrated his birthday by dining out with my parents and siblings. On his fortieth birthday, also a week after he was sworn in as a US citizen, I threw my husband a surprise Birthday party. I invited his band mates and their families, his friends and relatives (and there are quite a few!) and my friends and relatives. I had the event catered and ordered a huge tres leches cake decorated for the birthday boy, and of course a Pinata. He had a wonderful time mingling with everyone. I had a hard time trying to pin him down to open his gifts, in fact I never could do it. The party was scheduled to end at 10, but the last guest finally left at 3am. after we finished cleaning up the sun was rising. It was beautiful. I finally asked him if he was ever going to open his gifts. As he did he started to weep. He said that he couldn't bring himself to open the gifts in front of everyone. He had never actually gotten a birthday gift from anyone besides me.

From this, I took this lesson: Never assume that what you did as a child, the fun you had at birthday parties, sleep overs, camping, Disneyland and so on, are common experiences with your spouse, friends or coworkers. I too am of Mexican decent, however I am third generation American and the cultural differences between myself and my husband are far wider than the Grand Canyon and sometimes easier to cross.

Time to put the toddler down.....