Who let go first? Was it mutual?

Childhood classmate Mike's son IzaaK and a gorgeous Colorado Sunrise. For those of you who know me it's not that Mike!



How is it that we lose touch with family and friends. Perhaps it's like the dust bunnies under the sofa that get swept away or vacuumed into oblivion once a week. (if I'm in the mood) I just don't think that we think about it when we're doing it. I think it's more than that. The expression itself conjured images of a tactile bond between you and that friend or family member, lost, eradicated, frittered away? So, does that mean we literally have to let loose our grip? Consciously, physically, with malice of forethought, forget them? This whole experience of losing someone to a tragic accident has made me think.

What other wonderful things am I missing. What incredible blessings am I not receiving. The picture above? I sat at my computer for who knows how long staring at it. Imagining my friend hunting deer with his son. Stalking, shooting, dressing it. Then I was there, I could feel the crisp cool Colorado air sting my face as I walked along the fence. The sound of my boots crunching through the snow with each careful step I took. The wind filling my nose with that smell of sage like the memory of vacations past, as I take in a deep breath of the cold clean air and watch the steamy hot cloud of my own breath in front of me.

It really is the small things in life that set you free to enjoy the everyday blessings we have and sometimes take advantage of. So Mike if you're reading this, from the bottom of my heart, Thank you! and keep sending the pix. I'm swamped and won't be able to get away until after the new year, but this mini vacation to Colorado helped!

I had a friend who used to irk me no end when he would interrupt me mid-sentence when I said things llike " I just don't think, that yada, yada, yada..." He would always stop me at "I just don't think." Maybe he had something there. Maybe that's how I've lost track of friends like him, his wife, Pat, Mike and countless other people I saw everyday for at least 13 years. Broke bread with them, attended school sporting events, studied at the library, went clubbing, occasionally had sleep overs at their house, and later in adulthood shared my space when they came to visit and slept over on the couch or floor. Did I just not think about them?

So my question is: Is this losing touch a one sided affair? I hold my 4 yr old son's hand when we are in the street or in parking lot as we walk out to the car. I let go of his hand to get the keys, but he's still clinging onto mine. When he does this, naturally, I keep hold and wait until we are bumping into the car to tell him I have to get the keys out to unlock the door. After all, is it not true, that if you are holding someone Else's hand and let go they are still holding onto yours for a split second before they make a conscious decision to let go or grasp yours tighter? I remember getting a messages from an old classmates and thinking, I don't have time to talk right now, so I'll call them later when I have a free moment. I never did make that call. Sorry Cheryl! It's not like my time is spent on more meaningful things. After all, I am here blogging when I could be calling back or making arrangements to see so and so!

Well, I have to admit though, it is great to hear from someone you haven't seen in years. It is fun catching up! This past week I have made contact with more friends than I have in a long while. We came from a small class of about 60 from k-8. Close knit. Now we are scattered across the globe, some in Mexico, Texas, Arizona, Colorado, New York, Utah, Chile, Colombia and some right here in the same county. I am always a little stand offish at first, because I really don't remember if we parted on bad terms, or if we truly just lost touch. I have always been able to make friends easily, it's the keeping in touch with them that I know, I am bad at. I am the sort of person that likes some alone time and a little anonymity. I think that's what appealed to me about blogs. I ran across a movie review that was linked to a link that linked me to another link that linked to a link of a friend(that I had lost touch with)'s blog. I enjoy reading the blogs I find, especially if it's the blog of someone I know or a topic I'm currently concerned with. It's a way to keep up on they're goings on from a distance, were I can still get some work done and not have to leave the office.

Don't get me wrong, I do so, very much enjoy the company of a good friend. They are the people who keep you from the harsh eyes of the critical, the one's that are left after the party to help you clean up a bit, after the divorce to help you pick up the pieces and move on, the ones who aren't afraid to tell you, 'girl, what were you thinking?' the ones that just listen when you need to talk, lend a shoulder to cry on when needed and get screaming happy for you when they have no idea why they are screaming happy for you, because you can't seem to get a word out, but have successfully gotten across to them that it is time to celebrate. I know, I know, My hubby is a great friend and can cover most everything I've mentioned, (although if we divorce it's highly unlikely he'll be hiring the srtipper for the divorce party), but he just can't hit those shrill notes you make when you are going to see your favorite artist in concert (for the twelvth time), or when the cute guy from CSI was filming behind your office and came in to use your restroom or whatever. Guys just don't do schoolgirl very well. at least not my guy. So here's to all the screaming schoolgirls I've recently reacquainted myself with!!!

WEEHA!!! LET'S DO LUNCH!!!