My husband and I lived on a horse ranch for a number of years raising our sons. He is a breeder/trainer of racing thoroughbreds. We had always planned our vacations and other family functions around the breeding season and basically the horses schedules. Horses need to be fed and pens and stables need to be cleaned daily. Most family functions were planned without my husband involved. The boys and I went to movies, camping, out to dinner sans papa. Since leaving the ranch, Huicho (wee cho) my husband, has a normal 7-3:30 m-f normal everyday job, yet I still found myself waiting for him to have free time to go to Yosemite or Disneyland or whatever. I found myself at Yosemite with my son, my father and Huicho's cousin's wife and kids. Single parent vacation....Again.
I found out about my dad's stroke while watching Migui's soccer practice. I was there at the field checking my voice mail. After I hung up and the news sank in. I called my husband. It was a Thursday, which happens to be a practice night for his band (they practice in our basement.) I told him I needed him to drive me to the hospital when I got home. When I finally did get home, 6:30 pm, he informed me very matter-of-factly that I should bathe Migui and change him, after all band practice wasn't over until 9pm and we can't visit grampa sweaty. Not quite sure that he had understood me, I repeated that my dad had had a stroke (using 'embolio' the work I believed to be the Spanish word for stoke) and was in the hospital. I began to doubt myself as to the correct Spanish word for stroke. He said he did understand, but practice wasn't over until 9. I blurted out something like... 'if it was your dad we wouldn't be having this conversation, we'd be racing off to the hospital.' With that said I gathered myself and my children and headed off to the hospital. As I pulled out of the driveway my phone rang. I answered it but I must have driven 1/2 a block before I realized it was my husband telling me to wait for him as I saw him in the rear view mirror chasing me down the street on foot.
Something happened to me that evening visiting my dad. As I watched the nurse adjust the wires and tubes attached to my dad's chest. He's had a severe heart condition since 1974, so his heart was hooked up to a beeping monitor too, wireless no less. I am such a big baby and a Daddy's girl too. It took all I had not to lose it as I watched him struggle just to adjust his blanket. Since that evening, I no longer wait for my husband to finish whatever chore he thinks is important to take the kids out for Saturday morning breakfast. I now announce the hour we will be leaving at on Saturday morning and I leave, with or without hubby. In all the years Huicho and I have been together, the kids and I have waited as breakfast has turned to brunch or sometimes lunch waiting for him to finish one thing or another or to get back from yard sailing. We always had weekend breakfast as a family then took the kids shopping or to the movies or visiting friends and family. We have never missed a family weekend day unless someone was out of town. Family is very important to both myself and my husband. After the first time he was left, Huicho has made it a priority to be available at the specified time. The lines have been more clearly defined. I no longer wait for things to happen or wonder: What if?
I have never been accused of being shy or shying away from a challenge. Whether it was asking a boy to dance at a Jr high dance or starting my own business. Sometimes it gets me into a lot of trouble, but my mouth can usually get me out of anything it's gotten me into. I think I lost a little of that in my first divorce- I don't know where it went, but IT IS BACK, BABY!!! I feel so much more alive now.
May 2005, I decided, after driving my parents hand me down vehicles (a 76 Volvo wagon and an 86 Volvo sedan) for 15+ years and several comments from clients and friends, that I would buy a new car. I went online to research my choices and decided a certified pre-owner Toyota Highlander was the car for me. It had to have less than 20k, be a certified pre-owner with full warranty and of course it had to be silver and have all the bells and whistles I wanted and be priced less than 17k, not too much to ask for, right? I found my car, except for the color. It was a white 2003 highlander and was Certified pre-owner with less than 12k miles. I fell in love and decided I could overlook it's one defect - the color. We negotiated for a few hours and a few walk-outs on my part. I finally got the car for the price I wanted and on May 28, 2005 I drove home in my new (to me) car. I went immediately to my friend JB's Allstate office to get insurance. At the time I was of the mindset that you only buy insurance because it's the law in CA. He gave me a quote for six months that was more than what I had paid for my two other vehicles for a year. I explained my point of view and declared that it was just plain robbery. After I calmed down, he explained my coverage saying that the minimum the law requires is ridiculous. He told me I was fully covered saying I could go out and destroy two beamers and a hummer and still be covered. I told him, since not required, I didn't want the uninsured/underinsured motorist and rental stuff. As I uttered 'You wide lapel, beige polyester leisure suit wearing thief!' under my breath. (he doesn't really wear polyester he's more a preppie yuppie!) Just a salesman's way of getting another 2 cents from us. He assured me it wasn't that much more money for the coverage and if I later decide I really didn't want it we could always change the coverage. Well Okay JB your the expert and my friend, so I trust you.
June 25, 2005 My husband took the kids out for dinner and a movie so I could have a few hours of "me" time. Around 9:30pm I hear the front door. Javi came downstairs to let me know they were home and he's hungry are there any leftovers? He tells me Migui is asleep in the new car and Huicho doesn't want to wake him by bringing him inside. I went outside to reason with my hubby, after all, he can't sleep in the car the whole night! He's just shy of three and he probably won't even wake up when you bring him in. Huicho brought him in and tucked him in as I waited in the living room to hear about the movie. I hear Javi shuffling around in the kitchen then outside, tires screetching around the corner up the hill we live on. I hear the impact of the cars colliding and the tires screetching and metal crunching against metal. My husband and I jump up and start running up the stairs. My husband flies up them two and three at a time. Half way up I hear more screetching of tires and a harder louder impact and the unforgettable sound of metal crumpling, cement breaking and the heart wrenching sound of my new (to me) car's alarm, then a eerie silence and again tires screetching on down the street. As I race through the kitchen and upstairs living room Javi stops me at the door. He hugs me and says "Remember mom, you never liked the color." He is still holding my hand as I reach the gate to our white picket fence. I walked out to take a closer look at my new (not anymore) car's damage.
The driver, an unlicensed, uninsured, drunk young man out celebrating his 21st birthday, totaled my car while driving an unregistered vehicle just minutes after my husband takes my toddler out of the back seat. I thank God for the timing. If, but for the grace of God, a few minutes earlier... He also totaled my neighbors older truck and ripped out freshly laid sod in another neighbor up the streets lawn trying to escape. Since Foothill is a loop and has only one exit. My husband waits for him in his truck to come down the hill while on the cell with a 911 operator. Just following slowly behind on the phone with the police informing them where he's headed. My hero! We didn't need to get a plate number, because he left his bumper embedded in the side of my car. After sideswiping the neighbors truck he drove head on into my car sending it flying over the curb sandwiching it between his car and my little pine.
I am now such a big fan of Insurance and JB Woods: Allstate agent at large!!! I took my insurance check about 9k more than I paid for the 2003 and bought a brand spanking new Highlander with all the bells and whistles and the perfect shade of millennium Silver Woohoo!
Now Today I am an advocate for insurance, so much so, that when JB decided to relocate to Colorado, I began the process to acquire his Allstate agency. (If you don't already, you should sit down once a year with your agent and reexamine your coverage, both property and life. It is so very important.) Now that I have passed their background, credit checks and what not, I am heading out to Sacramento, New York and Chicago over the next few months to complete the education process. Allstate U here I come!! My husband and I are thrilled, excited and scared all at the same time. He travels sporadically in his job and sometimes it's spur of the moment. Hopefully he won't need to travel while I'm away. I don't think my mom could take Migui and Javi together for more than 4 or 5 hours. So keep us in your prayers or send out good thoughts, whatever your preference, Wish us well in our new venture together. My hubby is so great and well suited for the sales part. I've got the basics of insurance down and know how to manage a business, so I am very excited!!! My dream has always been to be business partners as well as partners in the business of life and raising children with my husband.
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